I Need You
by Pearl127
Summary: What if Harry had dated Hermione during his sixth year at Hogwarts? This follows her reactions and emotions after he decides he can't be with her. One shot.


_**Summary: **AU. What if Harry had dated Hermione during his sixth year at Hogwarts? This follows her reactions and emotions after he decides he can't be with her. The lyrics are from "On Fire" by Switchfoot. I don't own anything, it's all JKR._

* * *

Hermione somehow managed to make it into the girls' dormitories and onto her bed before completely losing it. The past few days…it had been too much for her. Dumbledore's death had been a hard enough blow to all of the students, and now the one person she needed there with her through the hard times had left her, rejected her. Of course Harry hadn't meant it that way, as a rejection, but that knowledge didn't make the sting go away.

_They tell you where you need to go  
They tell you when you'll need to leave  
They tell you what you need to know  
They tell you who you need to be_

Practically shaking from the effort of containing her tears, she collapsed onto her bed, pulling the curtains quickly closed and burying her face in her pillow to stifle the sobs. She cried openly, not caring anymore who heard and knowing she was probably alone anyway.

The words of the conversation still rung in her head, and as much as she tried not to, she couldn't stop replaying them.

/_"Hermione, listen…" Harry began, "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."_

_She was stunned speechless. "But Harry… I…"_

"_I've got things to do alone now. Voldemort… he uses people his enemies are close to. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up."_

"_Harry… Harry, don't do this…"_

"_No, Hermione, listen to me. What if this was your funeral? If something happened to you and it was my fault… I'd never forgive myself."_

_She wanted to burst into tears right there. She wanted to be angry and slap him. But she found that she could do neither. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but found the words caught in her throat. Instead, she turned and fled across the grounds and back into the castle._/

_But everything inside you knows  
Says more than what you've heard  
So much more than empty conversations  
Filled with empty words_

And now she found herself with all the emotions she's been so unable to express spilling out at once. A terrible blend of mixed and conflicting emotions was battering her. She was so glad, as she always was, that Harry had once again survived his latest brush with death. And while she found herself loathing him for his rejection, she knew she was still in love with him.

Turning on her side and curling up into a ball, Hermione hugged her pillow to herself, feeling the need for Harry more acutely than ever. All she wanted was to curl up in his arms and cry. He always found a way to comfort her, to tell her it would be alright. But then she remembered it was he who caused her pain, and she realized he would never hold her again. She couldn't even go to him as a friend and especially not about this. Hermione felt shockingly alone and only pulled her knees more tightly to her chest. All she wanted was just to disappear, leave this place. How was it possible to feel so much anger and so much love for the same person at the same time?

_And you're on fire  
When He's near you  
You're on fire  
When He speaks  
You're on fire  
Burning at these mysteries_

Hermione realized that what angered her the most was _why _he'd broken up with her. It wasn't that he decided he didn't love her anymore or that she'd done something to bother him or any of the reasons she would have expected from a potential break up. He was just worried that she couldn't take care of herself.

She understood his reasoning, and she was actually rather touched that he was so concerned about her safety. At the same time, she was hurt, even offended, that he wasn't willing to take a risk for their relationship. She knew it wasn't entirely true, but it seemed to her that if he really cared enough about her, he would have been willing to take a chance, to savor the time they did have together, regardless of the consequences.

Hermione knew she was willing. She wanted to be with him no matter what. She wanted to stand firmly beside him through whatever he might have to face. After all these years of risking their lives together, he was giving up on her now, when it was most important that they be together. She knew they would need each other more than ever in the coming year, and she wasn't ready to let him face the danger on his own. She knew he would die for her. Why wouldn't he let her do the same for him?

With a sudden burst of determination, Hermione sat up. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and ran a hand through her hair, trying to look as presentable as possible. She knew what she had to do. Without another though, she stood and left for the common room.

* * *

_Give me one more time around  
Give me one more chance to see  
Give me everything You are  
Give me one more chance to be..._

Harry sat in the Gryffindor common room, staring intently at the fire. He couldn't believe he'd just broken up with Hermione. He tried to tell himself it was for her good, that he couldn't be selfish enough to put her life on the line that way. Maybe someday they could be together, but for now, he had to put personal feelings on hold.

He glanced up when he heard footsteps on the stairs. /_Hermione. Oh God…_/ He could tell she was trying to hide it, but he could also tell from her flushed cheeks and red eyes that she had been crying – a lot. He felt horrible. He wanted so badly to go comfort her and tell her how he loved her, but he pushed the though from his mind. /_It's for her owned good,_/ he thought and averted his eyes. He couldn't bare to see her like this.

_Cause everything inside looks like  
Everything I hate  
You are the hope I have for change  
You are the only chance I'll take_

Hermione hadn't missed the look, and she knew what was on his mind. With a sigh, she moved over to the sofa where he was sitting and knelt in front of him, obstructing his view of the fire and forcing him to look at her. "Harry, please look at me. I need to talk to you."

"Please, Hermione." He avoided eye-contact. "This is already hard enough for me."

"It doesn't have to be, Harry. Maybe you're prepared to let this go and ignore what's happened between us, but I'm not." She waited for a response but found none. Instead, she continued, "Don't you see? We'll be stronger together when we can lean on each other, not apart. I've been in this fight with you so many times. What makes this time any different? I need you now more than ever, Harry, and I think if you're honest with yourself, you need me too. Please, Harry, don't abandon me now."

Harry winced when heard Hermione choke on her last few words. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hang her head in defeat. He didn't say anything – he couldn't. He knew if he opened his mouth, he would take her back in an instant.

_When I'm on fire  
When You're near me  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
And I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries  
These mysteries..._

Hermione waited. She waited until she was sure he would ignore her, and then she turned to leave.

"'Mione, wait," a voice called out behind her. "I… I can't do this."

She turned in surprise at the sound of his affectionate nickname for her. She found herself looking into those familiar green eyes, sparkling in the firelight with unshed tears. "What?"

"I can't do this. I need you too. 'Mione, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say."

Hermione felt a warm smile slip over her face, and before she knew it, she was hugging him tightly to her. "You don't have to say anything," she whispered into his ear. She clung to him like a life-line, latching onto his shirt with her fingers, hardly believing he was hers once again.

Harry pulled her close to him so that she was practically sitting in his lap. She buried her head in his shoulder, and he wrapped his protective arms around her, wishing to take away all the pain he'd caused her. He felt her sobbing quietly against him and he rocked gently back and forth, whispering in her ear. "Shh… it's okay, 'Mione. I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again, I promise."

"I know."

_And I'm on fire  
When You're near you  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries..._

They sat this way for nearly an hour, relishing in the presence of the other until Harry realized that Hermione had fallen asleep against him. She looked so perfectly peaceful and beautiful, and he was reminded of how lucky he was to have her. Unable to bring himself to wake her, Harry simply leaned over and took her with him so they were lying across the couch.

"Harry…?" she stirred slightly.

"It's ok, 'Mione, just go back to sleep. I'm here."

She sighed contentedly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

And with that, they both fell into a deep sleep, grateful for the other's love. And it was enough.

_I'm standing at the edge of me,  
Standing on the edge of everything I've ever been  
And I've been standing at the edge of me, standing at the edge_

_And I'm on fire  
When You're near you  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries..._


End file.
